


Strays

by Palareas_prose



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, graphic sex scenes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-21
Updated: 2014-04-30
Packaged: 2018-01-16 11:52:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1346473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Palareas_prose/pseuds/Palareas_prose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean never pictured himself bringing in strays off the street. He never knew a simple act of kindness could turn into a life changing event he would never forget.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. March 1st 2000

I don't pretend to know how things happen. Whether it's placed there by god, whether there are human forces at work, it doesn't matter because it happened. It can't be undone. I am not saying that's a bad thing at all. Sometimes I feel the same tingle down my spine when I touch the flower you gave me on our trip to the park. I watch the moon rise as the sun sets and know you see the same. I never meant for things to turn out the way they did. It happened. Now I know I have to remember the better times we had and be thankful we had them at all.

 

March 1 2000

 

Driving home from the usual job, in the usual city, to the usual cramped and lonesome apartment. It was all too normal for Dean. His friends would ask him to the same bar and he would order the same beer. Never once did he think life would change for the better. He had accepted the monotonous routine and found slight comfort in it. He could rely on things always staying the same even if it was boring. He knew what to expect day to day and had no fear of the uncertain because it wasn't present in his life.

"I need you to file these by 5 Dean. Then come to the boardroom to finish off the presentation, it's going to be a long night so if you have plans cancel."

Dean laughed in his throat. Plans were an issue he had never faced. 

"John, you know I don't have plans and If I did they would be with you."

"I know but I don't like to offend you." John was always kind to Dean. Never one to harshly joke. He knew Dean was always working hard and deserved better treatment then most employees. 

"I'll be down in ten." Dean sighed as he sorted through the papers. He glanced up at John and with just a look he communicated his need for coffee and a red bull. 

John gave a two fingered salute as he closed the door to Deans office. 

"I always tell them to sort things before sending them over for filing." Dean muttered under his breathe as the sound of shuffling papers filled the tight office. He knew that it would be another night of boardroom red eyes and stale coffee. There wasn't much left concerning the presentation. Dean's stomach ached, he hadn't eaten since his morning coffee, red bull and cheese it's. He knew he should start working out and eating healthier but he never had motivation. He was fit enough, strong shoulders, biceps to make any woman swoon. 

*beep*

"Take the night off Dean, you've had a rough week I can finish the presentation. Why don't you actually go out for once? Just want you to be happy bud have a good night - John."

John was a sweet friend and Dean had known so since they were in high school. Dean and John used to be the hot shots. Every girl wanted them and every guy envied their popularity. They both had the coolest bikes and clothes and were always ones to get in trouble. It was a miracle they got a job in a city like New York. 

Dean knew it would just be easier to go home and sleep after a movie by himself and his usual microwave dinner, but he felt adventurous. It could've been Johns encouragement towards a night out, or just his hunger clouding his better judgement.

"I do deserve a night to myself, I've been working hard!"  
Dean muttered as he locked up his office. He walked past john in the boardroom and gave him the standard two finger salute that they used as a greeting and farewell since high school. John returned the gesture and put his attention back to his work. Dean worked on the 11th floor and usually took the elevator but as a start to his adventurous night he took the stairs. It was obvious he was out of shape from the sweat on his temple after three floors.

As he entered his modest apartment he dropped his things and went to the shower grabbing a towel as he went. The warm water relaxed him, made him feel confident. He moved the shower head to hit his back as he shaved the stubble he had been ignoring for days. With a towel around his waist he walked over to his closet and got out the nicest pair of jeans he owned and a button down shirt. He tucked in his shirt and rolled up the sleeves. To finish off his look he dipped his fingers in some gel and stuck up his hair. He grabbed his leather jacket and was on the street in five minuets.

The closest club was just down the block. Granted it wasn't the highest quality but it had liquor, music, and people and that's all he needed for a night out. He showed his ID to the bouncer and waked past the rope. Dean was 22, earned a modest living, was handsome, and kind. Anyone would be lucky to have him. 

"Need anything pal?"

"Surprise me." Dean said not even looking at the bartender, rather at the people dancing. He wondered how people could do this every weekend. It was a big event for Dean to go out past 7 unless it was to eat with John at the pub. 

"Um...excuse...uh sir?"   
A shy voice came from behind Dean. He turned to see a young man, probably just turned 21, sitting on the stool next to him. He had dark hair and piercing blue eyes. He was sweating but it didn't look like he had been dancing.

"Oh yeah sorry man. What's up?"  
"I don't mean to bother you....but um....do you happen to have some cash?"  
He was so concerned. His words chosen carefully though he stumbled over them as they came out. Something about him was mysterious and different. 

"Uh yeah buddy how much you need?" 

"Well... Um...I need 500 bucks....if that's alright?" 

" yeah I could use 500 bones too. Really though how much do you need?"

The young boy rubbed his shoulder and looked to the ground. Dean realized he had been telling the truth. The boy flashed his eyes back up to Dean with a slight glaze over the bright cyan color. He seemed hurt by Deans response. He started to walk away but Dean grabbed his shoulder.

"Hey, pal I didn't mean anything by it I thought you were messing with me. What's your name? Let's start there."

"My...my name is castiel."

"Well castiel what is this money going towards? I am Dean by the way nice to meet you."

"Well I need to pay my rent and I haven't eaten in a few days...."   
He trailed off as he finished the sentence. It was obvious he wasn't comfortable asking for money and didn't know how to approach someone in general. 

"Well cas, can I call you cas? I would be more then happy to buy you a proper meal but I am not sure about funding a complete stranger."

Dean did feel that way, giving 500 of his own dollars to a complete stranger was unheard of. There was something about this kid cas though, something that was familiar and kind. His eyes were child like, the light of innocence still in them and at the same time a deep pain. He didn't know this guys life story, hell, he didn't know his last name. Cas looked up in despair, the light in the club outlining his sharp features. Dean took a deep breathe as he made his final choice.

"You know what, let's just get out of here and eat. How does that sound?"

 

They entered the diner with the sound of the little bell above the door following behind. Dean ordered his usual beer and hamburger. Cas looked at Dean inquisitively as if to ask what he should order. Dean nodded at the menu indicating the many choices. Cas looked down at the menu, brows furrowed in confusion, then back up at Dean. 

"I..um...I guess I'll have the same but instead of beer I'll have water thank you." Cas sputtered to the waitress. 

She scribbled on her notepad and walked away to the kitchen. The diner was mostly empty just an old couple a few teenage guys and dean and cas. Dean looked up at his new found dinner date and smirked as he realized what his night had turned into. He went from hoping to take home a girl, to taking a poor, bright eyed, hopeless kid to a diner. The food came out and cas' eyes lit up in excitement. There was so much expression in his eyes alone that you only needed to look there for his exact emotion. Cas began by downing the entire glass of water then asking the waiter for more before she was done giving dean his silverware. She giggled and walked away bringing back a pitcher full of ice water for cas. Dean ate a few bites of his food but was more interested in this young mans story. He watched cas as he downed another glass of water and inhaled his food. He wasn't going to be the asshole who tells someone to slow down when eating or they'll feel sick, so he watched cas, slightly impressed by the enormous appetite the boy had. Dean slid the rest of his meal across the table and watched as a pair of skinny hands pulled the plate closer.

"So tell me your story Castiel. How did you end up this way? I don't mean to pry but I think a little information is necessary if I am giving you 500 dollars." Dean grinned, he hadn't realized he had made the choice to give Castiel the money but it seemed right. 

"Well sir, you see I am new to this whole scene. I used to live down in Delaware but I couldn't afford it any more."

"So the logical choice was to come to New York? Doesn't seem like a smart choice considering the price points of both areas."

Cas looked down at the empty plates, then back up at dean. 

" Well it wasn't so much the money...it was more my family."

"What about um?" Dean felt his face getting red, whether it be from the heat of the cramped diner, or the growing sense of uncomfortableness between the two.

"They didn't support my life choices."

It was the clearest most concise sentence dean had heard him say since they met. It was delivered by a skilled tongue and obviously said many times before. The diner felt colder now and silence fell like a thick fog. 

"Ok I think I can manage with just that information. But I have one more question before I give you the money."

Cas looked up at dean, his eyes wet from forming tears that only magnified the bright blue color.

"Novak, sir. My full name is Castiel Novak."


	2. Feelings

He'd known what Dean was going to ask him. It may have been an automatic response. This guy seemed to run into these constant questions often. He must've prepared for every scenario. He wasn't confident in his answers. Most of his words were muttered under his breathe or stuttered over as they were spoken. Dean knew that Castiel was different. He knew there was something about him that was worth discovering. 

"Where are you staying tonight?" Dean spoke cautiously. He couldn't think about this guy on the streets of New York at night without his heart feeling heavy. He wasn't stupid though. He knew the dangers of taking in strays, especially in a city as big as theirs. There were plenty of crazies living on the sidewalks. Cas didn't seem like he was mentally unstable or in any way dangerous. 

"I don't know sir, I was thinking of hiding out in Central Park under the merry-go-round."

"Well firstly you don't have to call me sir." Dean said as a warm smile came across his face. "My mom gave me the name Dean and I think its a pretty cool one." He was trying to defuse the intensity of the situation. He kept the warm smile as cas nodded.

"Dean, can I ask you something?"

"You mean other then 500 bucks? Yeah go for it."

"I know it's forward....but you're the only person who has been remotely kind to me since I left Delaware. I can tell you don't care about my life choices. You just care that you're kind to people without judgement and I could use some positivity in my life. I won't ask much just a day with you to look over my life and talk about my story."

Dean was intrigued, he didn't expect someone so alone and in need of resources to ask for something so simple. All he wanted was to talk. Dean had to admit he was curious about his life story and how he ended up the way he did. 

"Fair enough. I can meet you at Central Park tomorrow at 12, that sound ok?"

Cas' face was professional and cold, but those eyes, they always gave away how he really felt. He was elated to have Deans company but wouldn't show it through his expression. He just gently smiled and stuck out his hand for Dean to shake. Dean gripped the boney fingers in his and gave a firm shake. He put a 20 on the table and they left the diner going their separate ways. 

Dean fumbled for the keys in his pocket as he approached the door to his apartment. He felt bad for not offering to let cas stay with him. He knew there was always a risk involved when associating with people in big cities. He unbuttoned his shirt as he walked in the cramped bathroom and turned on the sink. The water was warm under his cold hands. It wasn't too frigid out anymore but the nights were still just cold enough for a light jacket. He washed his face and tried to rub some of the excess gel out of his hair. As he walked into his room he heard the phone ring and walked over to see who it was.

*Courtland, John*

The name flashed on the caller ID as Dean held the phone between his neck. 

"Hey man what's up? Did you get to have a night out or did you stay home as usual."

Dean could hear the smile in Johns voice. He wasn't sure what to say though. Should he tell him what happened and that he was meeting a complete stranger tomorrow to talk about his life story? Should he tell him he actually agreed to give 500 of his hard earned dollars to a hobo on the streets? 

"Well man I went out but I ended up at the diner and had a burger and came home. Wasn't much going on at the club."

Dean felt his stomach turn. He hated lying to John, but he knew it would be better if he didn't know.

"Not a single pretty girl? Huh well why don't we go to the pub tomorrow for lunch and you can tell me all about your night out." John was always trying to get Dean out of his apartment and knew the only way was if he offered food at the pub. 

"I'll see man, I don't feel to great. I think going out is too big of a step for me to take all on my own." Dean cringed as the lies formed on his lips. All John wanted was for Dean to be happy and he was blatantly lying to him.

"Alright bud, text me how you feel tomorrow. And Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"I am proud of you for trying something new tonight even if it didn't go how you planned."

Dean couldn't sleep. The guilt of lying to John, the curiosity of what tomorrow's meeting would hold, it was all too much. What if Cas was a maniac. What if he was meeting Jack the Ripper reincarnate. He tossed in his small bed pulling at his hair and groaning at his growing migraine. Dean had these bursts of anxiety every now and then but they were always short lived. This was going on much too long and he knew he had to resolve some of the pain. He got up, made himself a bowl of cereal, and watched Saturday night live re-runs until he fell asleep on the couch. 

The next morning his headache had dissolved and the pain that was left was washed away by the scolding hot shower. He put on a pair of running shorts and a t shirt. The weather seemed nicer today and he wanted to enjoy it as much as possible. He ate a real breakfast of eggs and bacon with orange juice and locked the door behind him as he left. Dean walked everywhere unless it was past 8 miles. He would always leave earlier then most so he would have time to just walk and not jog to his destination. As he reached the threshold of Central Park he felt butterflies begin to turn in his stomach. Maybe it was the excitement of hearing Castiels life story, or maybe it was the eggs that he had "cooked" himself. 

He moved quickly towards Central Park, stopping to get two bottles of water at a hot dog stand. Dean didn't know what to expect, was cas a mass murdered? A pedophile? A robber? He had no clue what this guy was like. He neared the merry-go-round, his palms were getting sweaty and he could hardly keep a grip on the waters. It hadn't been this hot in a while but it felt nice wearing shorts and a t shirt again. He sat on a curb and waited patiently for cas to arrive. He was looking for those bright eyes and dark hair that were so distinct only one person held the traits he did. He opened his water and drank half of it before putting it down. He turned to see cas walking towards him, fairly quickly, his smile growing with every step. Dean stood up and watched as cas jogged his last steps. He looked thrilled to see Dean and even more excited that he brought water. Dean handed him the bottle and cas thanked him for his kindness and for showing up at all.

"I didn't expect you to show you know." Cas gulped water down and spoke between sips.

"I never would've gone up to you in that bar unless I thought you were special. I could see you have compassion in your eyes. I thought I'd take a chance ya know? I've been wanting to tell someone my story for a while now, just to get it off my chest and feel like someone understands."

Cas said all of this with a grin and his eyes were just as bright as the glare of the sun. You could tell he wasn't afraid of what Dean thought of him. Dean felt like he cracked the shell cas had put on to protect himself. 

"Well here's one thing you should know about me buddy, when I make promises I don't break them."

"Stay that way. There aren't many people who can say that." He was sudden with his words. Sharp yet calming, he had that small twitch of pain behind the smile in his eyes. Castiel held back fear and deep hurt well. Dean could practically see the dam holding back all the tears he should've shed. 

"So where does your story start? I am assuming Delaware?" 

"Yes you're right. It started there and a chapter of it ended there. You see, my family was always slightly torn. We didn't have home cooked meals around a table. We had left overs of left overs and expired milk. My mom left us when we were younger and my dad was always working. He tried so hard." Cas choked a little on the last sentence, but sucked up the tears almost like it was automatic. 

"Wow I am sorry man, I can't imagine what that's like." Dean didn't want to mention his own struggles, he felt it would seem insensitive. He recalled his little brother Sam at their parents funeral. He saw his tear stained face looking up and felt the little tug on his sleeve. Dean snapped back to reality when he heard Cas speak again. 

"It's alright. My mom came back one night though. She seemed more put together then when she left. She was always beautiful but seemed radiant walking through our door for the first time in forever. She started coming more often and taking care of us better. I felt like I had a real family for a while, then I went and ruined it. I never meant to screw everything up. I only wanted to be honest with them and let them know my heart." Silence followed for a few seconds and Dean realized they had walked a good distance from the curb they met at. 

"It all started when I met Crowley. He was really the one who turned everything into this. He didn't intentionally mean for anything to happen, I mean for god sakes he was my first true love." Dean felt the slight shock roll over his spine when he heard the words. He had thought all this time that Cas had a criminal history or was part of a cult, it never crossed his mind that it was something as simple as love.

"Crowley and I met at my old job in Delaware. He was so gentle with his words and he always knew how to make me smile. I was never upset or distraught from my past life when I was in his arms. Everything would melt and I felt safe for once. I didn't tell my parents because things had just become stable and everyone was getting along. I would see him at work and we would get to go out to eat after our shift. I would tell my parents I was working over time and not to wait up, and they didn't. Everything was fine until my birthday night. I had always told Crowley I wanted to wake up to him right next to me in bed, not sexually, just the comfort of him being near would make me the happiest person alive. He knew that's what I wanted so, being the incredible person he was, he snuck in through my window and in to bed with me right at 12 o clock to spend my entire birthday with me. He tapped me on the shoulder to wake me up and I almost screamed but when I saw it was him I cried tears of joy. I didn't think of the consequences or anything for that matter. He was with me and I felt safe. It was the morning that the chapter I was talking about came to its conclusion. Crowley had me wrapped in his arms his lips still pressed against my neck. My dad had made me a cake and wrapped a little present in some plain paper. He walked in to my room with the intention of surprising me but he was the one who got surprised. It was all so quick, he was quiet walking in, the shock hit him like a wave making him drop everything in his hands. The sound of the cake hitting the floor woke us both up just in time to see my dad walk out of the room, my mom came in next with my little sisters clinging to her. She stood there in the doorway with tears rolling down her face, I was the final piece to the demise of my entire family. My mom picked up my sisters and ran out of the room cursing despite the fact that they were 4 and 6. Crowley had his clothes on at this point and was crying on the floor. That image will always be burned in my mind. I close my eyes and it's there. I won't ever forget that last kiss he gave me before climbing back out the window though he could've taken the door. I came downstairs to see my mom packing up some food in a backpack and I knew right then that it was over, I had single handedly ruined our entire family. We found my dad hanging from the ceiling fan later. That's another image I'll never forget. I was the one who found him. He had a note in his shirt pocket with paragraphs all scratched out and the words "I am sorry." In bold letters on the bottom. I pushed him to do it. It was all my fault. My mom was in my room at that point packing my clothes and I figured I might as well help her, I couldn't stay there or I'd end up the same way my dad did." 

Deans vision was blurry with tears. He knew what it was like to loose parents and have siblings forget you, the real you, and he knew Cas would never recover from what he went through. Dean had been so enthralled in the story that he didn't realize they were almost at the other end of Central Park. They started to slow as they neared a pond. Dean noticed Cas digging in his pocket and pulling out a little piece of bread. It was part of the hamburger bun from the night before. Cas looked back at Dean with wet eyes and a smile that showed the top of his bright white teeth. His hair made his skin seem lighter then it really was. Dean watched as Cas fed the birds around the pond. He looked so gentle like if a wind swept over him he would fall to the ground, broken in little pieces. Yet he was so strong and Dean knew that. That was what he remembered the most when he looked back on his days with Cas, his strength and power mixed with the shattered pieces of his past and the gentle nature of his soul.


	3. Let him in

After talking a little more Dean walked back home. It was getting dark but it was still warm. Dean checked his phone as he walked. 

"Hey Dean I know you weren't feeling well so I stopped by today but you didn't answer the door. Figured you were sleeping so I left a sixer by the pot. Hope you feel better man." - John 

Just as Dean read this he walked up to his door seeing the beer sitting by the plant outside his apartment. Dean picked it up and wiggled the lock moving slowly into the dark space. He dropped the beer on the counter and pulled out the little piece of paper in his pocket. 

"Castiel_Novak18" 

The writing was on a crumpled piece of paper and barely legible. Cas had told Dean that he uses a computer at the library quite frequently to look at the news and talk to old friends back in Delaware who were accepting of his life choices. He told Dean that if he ever wanted to reach him that was the screen name to use and that he was there almost every day. 

Dean put the slip of paper on his desk and walked into the kitchen. He didn't realize how hungry he was until he opened the fridge to see Chinese leftovers sitting on the shelf eye level with him. He ate the noodles and turned on the tv.

"Breaking news, terrorist threats coming in to the Oval Office itself. Are we safe from it all? Coming up next on nightly news." 

Dean smirked cheeks filled with food, the thought of a terrorist attack was slightly comical to him. Dean was an American born and bread and believed that he was living in the safest, most reliable country there is. Deans grandfather had been in Vietnam during the war. When Dean was old enough, his grandfather taught him every thing he could. Dean knew how to take apart and put together any standard issued military weapon and could tell you each part and its function with his eyes closed. Dean remembered the last words he had spoken to him, "Carry on Winchester.", and Dean did as he was told. Four years had passed since his grandfathers death and 7 since his parents. Dean never knew pain like what death brings. He had broken bones, had a broken heart, none of it compared to the pure numb feeling of death. He managed to control feelings most times, it was a rare occasion when Dean shed a tear. He had been ashamed by the fact that Castiels story drove him to the blurry visioned nuisance. After his shower, Dean went to his computer to type in his first message to Cas. He didn't know why he felt compelled to talk to him more, they had spent the whole day just talking and getting to know each other better. 

*Carry_On_Dean* 

Deans heart was racing at the thought of talking to Cas. He had no reason to get excited, this kid was a hobo on the streets who had a traumatic backstory. Dean thought of how Sam would react to this. He pictured him poking fun and joking about him having a crush. Dean typed the first words carefully and looked over his sentences correcting any mistakes.

"Hey Cas, it's Dean." Is what he came up with after thirty minuets of thought and review. He felt like he was in grade school asking girls to go to the dance with him. Dean had never had a preference between boys and girls. He was attracted to whatever he found beautiful, regardless of gender. Sam knew this and accepted Deans choices and continued to support him. 

Castiel_Novak18: "Hi Dean :)"

Carry_On_Dean: "Wow, you weren't lying when you said you were there 24/7."

Castiel_Novak18: "I like to come here to think, I always end up on the computer doing some writing, it's very relaxing."

Carry_On_Dean: "I'd love to read something of yours one day." 

Deans smile only grew as the conversation went on. They both talked about writing and books and how the best feeling is being in your favorite clothes with your favorite food reading a really good book. Dean had to keep reminding himself that Castiel was educated and didn't grow up in the streets. His vocabulary and detail captivated Dean, he hung on every word and got butterflies when the typing icon came up on the screen. They said their goodbyes for the night, Cas saying he was going to write more, while Dean was heading straight for bed. 

He couldn't sleep, three hours had passed since their conversation ended but all Dean could think about was the beautiful articulation of Castiels words, even in common small talk. He tossed in bed and tried closing his eyes only to see those bright shining eyes on the black backdrop his eyelids provided. He knew that Cas needed a place to stay until he could get a better job. Dean had offered the $500 to Cas at the park but he had refused saying it was best to save it for something else. If cas refused to take the money then Dean felt it was only right to offer him a place to stay. When Dean made up his mind on the matter he finally fell asleep.

He woke up to the sound of knocking on the door. He pulled on some pants and a shirt quickly and scuffled out of his room still dizzy from sleep. As he put his hand on the door knob he felt butterflies, he wanted it to be Cas standing behind that door. 

"Dean, hey open up! Come on man this isn't funny!" 

John was being sarcastic as usual, Dean swung open the door as John practically fell through the opening from leaning against it. 

"Hey man sorry I just got up."

"Really? Dean its 4pm what were you up to last night?"

John smirked as he walked towards the fridge grabbing some cold cuts and a beer from the ones he had brought Dean the day before. He proceeded to sit on the counter and eat the lunch meat straight from the bag. 

"I think I am still getting over the sickness."   
Dean felt the now familiar feeling of a lie sliding off his tongue and through his teeth. He didn't know how much longer he could keep this up. John didn't know about Castiel and Dean intended to keep it that way. 

"You don't feel warm, maybe you had a virus or something." John stated taking his hand from Deans forehead.

"Yeah, most likely." Dean pinched the bridge of his nose, he had a headache but not from any virus. 

"Well the game starts in an hour if you're up to it we can go pick up some wings and come back here and watch it?"

John was just trying to help, but Dean wasn't in the mood for company. He obliged though knowing that John would grow suspicious otherwise. They grabbed some wings and fries from the sub place down the street. Dean felt this growing sense of excitement at the thought of talking to Cas after John left. He used it as motivation to get through his night of wings and loud games on TV. When they said they're goodbyes John promised to call Dean and check in on him before work on Monday. Dean gave him a hug and a salute as he walked out the door. The second he heard it click shut he walked over to the computer to check if he had any messages. It was 7:30 at this point and he didn't know if Cas would still answer. He logged into his account, fingers shaking, as he opened the inbox. He saw one new message from Cas. He felt the waves tumbling in his stomach with giddiness. 

Castiel_Novak18-"Hey Dean :) I know you might not want to, but I'd really like to meet with you again. I like our conversations and its nice to have a friend."

Carry_on_Dean-"Hey Cas, sure I am up for another meet up :)."

Dean hated the way Castiel made him feel. He couldn't find the right words to say without sounding like a total queer. He didn't want to give himself away to Castiel until he knew there might be a chance with him. They continued to chat until 12ish when Cas said he had to go. Dean wasn't aware of the time that had passed, he was solely focused on Cas. 

Dean slept better that night. He didn't dream which was unusual for him, maybe he was coming down with something. When he woke up and looked over at the clock he was surprised to see he woke up significantly earlier then usual. He felt invigorated, ready to tackle the day. Dean packed a bag with extra clothes and went to the gym for the first time in forever. He worked out for an hour and played pickup basketball with some guys who were on the court. He showered there and got dressed in jeans a white t shirt and his leather jacket. He was every girls dream. He often got asked out or put on "blind dates" with Johns friends. Dean obliged to these to make John happy. He was only looking out for him and wanted him to be happy. John had been engaged for a few months now to his high school girlfriend Rachel. Dean liked Rachel she was good for John. They had all been friends in high school and Dean was proud of John for the commitment he put into their relationship. Dean could never see how someone can fall so deeply in love that they are willing to stay with that person forever. He had never felt that way.

After Deans workout he went to a cafe down the block with his laptop. It was sunny and 60, he wasn't going to miss out on a nice day. He sat at an outdoor table, his back facing the sun, he felt the warm beams heat up his jacket. He slid the jacket off his arms and on to the chair as he leaned back on it, he opened his laptop and slid on his sunglasses. He adjusted the screen so there wouldn't be glare and signed into his messaging account. Dean pulled up his conversation with Castiel. He saw a little "1" at the top of the screen. His stomach did a flip of excitement, it still bothered him the way Cas made him feel. 

Castiel_Novak18-"Hey Dean :) I would love to see you today. I'll be near or in the library. Let me know if you can meet up :)" 

Carry_on_Dean-"Sure, I am a few blocks away from the library actually. I'll be there in ten :)"

Castiel_Novak18-"Great! I'll meet you outside :D"

Cas was such a little kid. He made Dean feel 12 again, going on little adventures around town. Dean dropped a five on the table for his untouched coffee, closed up his laptop, and threw on his jacket. He didn't want to seem too anxious to get to Cas but he couldn't help his pace, it was like his brain wasn't in control anymore. As he approached the library he saw Cas sitting in one of the rockers right outside reading some huge novel. He was wearing the same ripped up pair of khakis and a fairly well kept AC/DC t shirt. Dean walked closer and Cas raised his head out of the book, he smiled when he caught Deans eye. Cas was muscular, but in a lean way, he had the demeanor of someone who knew exactly what they wanted in life and intended to have it. 

"Hey Dean! I am so glad I got to see you today!" Cas stuck his hand out for Dean to shake. Dean grabbed his hand feeling a little shiver when they touched. 

"Yeah I am glad I got to see you buddy." Dean gently smiled while folding up his sunglasses and sticking them in his pocket. 

"Come on I have something to show you." Cas half whispered as if it was a special thing only they were to know about. Dean was slightly taken aback though excited to see what Cas had planned. 

"Well alright." Dean laughed a little as Cas started walking forward leaving his book on the rocker. Dean was glad he had brought his backpack with him, he had water and snacks and still had his laptop tucked inside. Cas lead Dean to a side street he hadn't ever been on. The sun was blocked out by the massive wall to the side of them as Cas opened a small chain linked gate that lead to the wall itself. As the rounded the corner Dean saw what was so important about where Cas had taken him. Huge murals spread across the wall, some complete, others half finished. Cas looked up taking in a deep breath and let it out through his nose. 

"It's beautiful isn't it?" 

"It really is. How'd you find this place?" 

"When I didn't have the library to go to.... I lived here." Cas trailed off before stating the last part of his sentence. Dean felt his heart sink a little with the thought of Cas sleeping under the looming faces painted on the wall. 

"You know Cas, that reminds me of something, I was wondering if you wanted to stay at my place? Just until you can get back on your feet." Dean blurted this out, he could feel his face getting hot. Cas turned to Dean and smiled. 

"I would love to Dean, thank you so much, it really means the world to finally have a friend who is so willing to help." Cas' eyes began to water with those last words. Dean quickly turned his gaze to the wall as not to embarrass Cas. 

"Well the reason I brought you here is because I thought it would be fun to paint something on the wall." Cas stated, he began to walk towards a bush near the base of the wall. 

"Sure, I have to warn you though, I am a horrible artist." Dean walked to where Cas was standing. 

"That's alright, I'll teach you some easy tricks." Cas bent over and picked up some small paint supplies from behind the bush. There was a few dirt covered brushes and little bottles of paint. 

"You first." Dean said as he watched Cas unscrew the little bottle of green. He watched every delicate stroke on the wall, every move was so precise. Cas would occasionally look back at Dean then go right back to painting. Dean couldn't make out what it was until cas added the final lines. He stepped back to reveal a bright green eye, perfectly drawn, that resembled Deans exactly. It had only taken him a matter of minuets to produce something so beautiful. 

"Your turn." Cas giggled as he handed the brush over to Dean. He stepped behind him looking over his shoulder as Dean drew his first lines. Dean wasn't nearly as talented as Cas but tried his hardest to impress Cas. After a half an hour of standing near the wall Dean stepped back, looking over what he had done, and laughed. He had attempted to replicate Cas' eye but instead of green he made it the brightest blue he could make it to match the tone as best he could. The paint could never do justice to those shining eyes though. Cas stepped to where Dean was and smiled.

"I love it." A small whisper of words that slipped pass his lips. Dean didn't know if he was intended to hear it or not but it sent shivers down his back. Cas went to put the paint back and Dean followed. When Cas turned around Dean took his hands, he felt the soft skin under his thumbs and knew there was no better time or place to say what he was about to. 

"Cas, I know we just met and I know we are basically complete strangers, but there is just something about you that is so interesting and I really want to see more." Dean said this softly and all at once. He then leaned Castiel back against the cool stone wall taking his cheek in one hand tilting his head up slightly then pressed his lips against Castiels. Cas was rigid at first the slowly moved his hand to Deans waist and gave into the kiss. They parted and Deans face turned red instantly. He looked to the ground rubbing his neck nervously. 

"Sorry... I ...I don't really know what just happened there. Sorry again." Dean sputtered as Castiel smiled softly still leaning against the wall. 

"Don't be sorry, I am just glad you caved before I did."


	4. Foundations

Chapter 4 

Dean looked up, his mouth parted slightly from joy mixed with shock. He never intended to let Cas know how he felt, or at least until he knew him better. He had shared his feelings with guys he found attractive before and it usually went sideways, but Cas, he was different. Dean stepped back from Cas a little, he still felt the ghost of Cas' lips tingle on his own. 

"Well I know this might ruin it but you're still welcome to come stay with me. I mean if you want to if not I can pay for you to stay in a motel or..." Dean was cut off by Cas' lips against his once more. 

"This just makes it easier." Cas breathed out softly on Deans lips. Dean knew it was a bad idea to have Cas stay with him, John might come over and see them together. He was worried about being let down and heartbroken. Dean had so many reservations but with Cas, he felt them all melt away. Maybe it was the way his fingertips felt when they grazed his skin, or the way his eyes warmed him from the inside out. 

They walked down the cracked sidewalks, fairly close to each other, but just far enough away for a feeling of want. Deans mind was chaos, every thought, every worry and fear, it was all swept away with a single kiss.

"So how long have you lived here Dean?" 

"About 6 years. My friend and I went to high school together down in Maryland and came up here for college."

"I wish I could've had a college education." Cas looked at his feet kicking a pebble as they continued walking down the street. It was dark when they reached Deans apartment complex. He lead Cas up the stair way to his door. 

"This is really nice Dean." Cas looked around in slight wonder. It was obvious he'd never been anywhere nicer then his house in Delaware. 

"Thanks Cas, honestly though it's not much, I would've cleaned a little more but I didn't plan on ...." Dean trailed off. It was just now hitting him that he hadn't really planned on Cas coming home with him at all, it just happened. He was there in the moment and every fiber in him knew it would be a bad idea but here they were, Cas sitting on a chair by the kitchen untying his converse sneakers. He looked around the small room a smile on his face. Dean leaned against the wall arms crossed, his eyes studying Cas' reactions. 

Dean wasn't sure how to address the feelings between them. They both felt it, that longing sense of hope and warmth. Every touch felt electric on Deans skin, he hoped to god he didn't rush into things. He could feel the pull of Cas' smile all over his body, drawing him close to the chair where he was sitting. 

"So what do you want for dinner?" Dean laid his hand on Cas' shoulder. He could've sworn he felt a little shiver run through Cas. 

"How's pizza sound?" Cas got up slowly from the chair and looked out Deans window.   
"Yeah pizza sounds great, I'll go ahead and call it in." Dean grabbed his cell and ordered quickly. He saw Cas, eyes wide and curious as he placed his slender fingers on the glass. Dean finished ordering and put his phone on the counter on his way over to the window.

"You know Cas, you seemed awfully shy when we first met at the club. Awkward would probably be the best word to describe how you were, but now you just brim with excitement and happiness not an awkward thing about you."  
Dean had been wondering this for a while now, the question sat at the back of his mind. Why was Cas so different now then when they first met? 

"Well I am not sure myself why I acted that way. When I first came in the club I was looking for someone well put together, which usually indicates business person or wealthier than most. I was purely there to ask a favor of a kind stranger but when I tapped your back and you turned around I guess I wasn't prepared to face someone as handsome as you. I got kind of flustered and didn't want to seem inconsistent so I just kind of kept up the flustered act the rest of the night." Cas had been looking out the window the whole time he was talking and Dean just watched his mouth move as he spoke the words he had hoped to hear. 

"You're just a carefree soul aren't you? Not afraid of being see through because you aren't scared of making mistakes and owning up to them." Dean said this in a slightly impressed tone that made Cas grin. 

"I am glad we met though, it's nice to have a friend finally." Cas took his hand off the glass and slipped it into Deans, weaving their fingers together until each one lined up. The cool touch of his thumb gently running over the top of his hand. 

They stood like this, watching and waiting, for another fifteen minuets before the doorbell rang. Dean reluctantly released his hand from Cas' and walked to the door. He brought the pizza in and placed it on the counter top. Cas came over and sat patiently while Dean got two paper plates and two beers.

"Could I maybe have something other than beer?" Cas seemed a little embarrassed when he said this.

"Yeah sure.....wait ......you aren't 21 yet are you?" Cas looked down face full of pizza and shook his head. He looked back up at Dean with cheeks full and a goofy smile plastered on his face. 

"Please tell me you're at least 18." Dean leaned against the counter now eating his own slice.

"Yeah I am 20." Cas looked proud when he spoke his age as if this was the age everyone wanted to be and he had obtained it.

"Well I am 22, glad we both know that now." Dean winked at Cas jokingly but couldn't help feeling a hint of meaning behind it. 

Dean tossed the paper plates in the trash and turned on the tv. Cas followed behind, fairly closely, as Dean sat on the couch. 

"This is really nice Dean. I feel safe for once." Cas lowered his head into Deans lap facing the tv. His soft hair falling over deans hand, he liked this, it was nice. He felt like he had known Cas his whole life, like this should be a normal everyday occurrence.

"Me too Cas." 

Dean meant it too, his walls were falling and he felt safe, not a false sense of security and happiness but a real life warm safe feeling. The feeling of Cas' cheek resting against his leg made him feel happy and alive for once. Dean tucked a piece of dark wavy hair behind Cas' ear and smiled down at the incredible stray he'd run into and taken home. 

Dean bent down kissing Cas on the forehead and brushing over his ear with his thumb. Cas sat up and looked Dean dead in the eyes in a way Dean had only ever seen in women. Cas wanted something, something he was willing to fight for. He reached over placing his hand on Deans waist inching closer to his face.

"You know Dean, it really has been a while since I've kissed anyone." Cas spoke quietly sliding his thumb just under the hem of Deans shirt. He lowered his head slightly, leaning on Deans chest. Those piercing eyes sent shivers down Deans back, holding Cas felt right. 

"Well, was I decent?" Dean smiled gently looking down at Cas who grinned.

"I'd say you were pretty good." Cas laid back down in Deans lap slowly burrowing his head into his legs. 

 

They fell asleep that way, curled up next to each other on the couch. Cas was still in the clothes from the day before, though Dean had offered a pair of sweats when he changed, Cas was too tired to get up from the couch to put them on. When Dean woke up, his arm was numb and tingly under Cas' back. He gently slid out from underneath him and moved to the kitchen to make breakfast. He had to be at work in an hour and didn't have time to wait for sleeping beauty to wake up. He hopped in the shower, ate breakfast and left a note on the table.

"Hi Cas, sorry I couldn't stay, I had to get to work. I'll be back at 5, here's some money for food if you can't find anything you like in the fridge. Feel free to make yourself at home. -Dean" He left forty bucks on the table and quietly made his way down to the garage. 

Cas had woken up to the sound of car keys being grabbed and a door closing softly. He was still drowsy and aimlessly rose from the couch, making his way to the kitchen counter. He knew Dean had to work but he wished for just one day with him in the small cozy apartment. He saw the note on the counter and read it, holding the money in his other hand. He placed the note and money back on the cool marble and shuffled to the bathroom. It had been so long since he had taken a real warm shower. He turned the knob and felt the warmth flow through him as he stepped into the steam. He shaved and washed his hair and made sure he smelled good. He took Deans invitation of "making himself at home" to heart. He walked to deans closet, towel around his waist, and pulled out a plain t shirt and the pair of sweatpants he had been offered the night before. They weren't a perfect fit, he was slightly less muscular than Dean, but they stayed on nonetheless. He roamed back into the kitchen, looking through cabinets to find cereal and a bowl. He ate quickly then went on Deans computer to check his messages. 

When he opened the laptop a picture of Dean with some other guy popped up on the screen, along with endless messages concerning government files and too many numbers for him to look at all at once. He smiled at the picture and pulled up a new tab to check his email. 

 

Every day since he left home he would go to the nearest library or anywhere he could find a computer and check his messages. His fingers still trembled when he clicked the small envelope to refresh his inbox. Not a single message from home, not a hello or otherwise from Crowley. He didn't know the state of his family or what had become of his mother. He knew he couldn't ever go home but hearing from any of them would make him feel like he had less to worry about. He moved the mouse to the small icon, empty, as usual. He sighed closing the laptop slowly and picking up the newspaper on the counter. He flipped the pages and pulled out the job adds and comics, leaving the rest by the laptop. The sound of pages turning filled the small apartment and made Cas feel even more alone. He wanted to call Dean and ask him to come home. He wanted to feel Deans arm around his back. He missed watching Dean speak and seeing the muscles of his jaw contract with each syllable. He wanted to sit and count every freckle on his face, every line by his eyes when he smiled, and every time he licked his lips. He found himself drawing closer to Deans bedroom, something about him was so inviting. He sat at the edge of the bed and circled a few job adds that interested him and tried looking at some comics before his eyes grew heavy with sleep. He didn't have to worry about being vulnerable anymore. He was warm, safe, clean, full, and had someone who could protect him. He fell asleep, taking deep breaths and closing his eyes just to picture Deans.


End file.
